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My 2018 so far..

Again needing somewhere to type and express myself so here it comes..my 2018 has been rough to say the least. I've been so strong and brave that it hurts to see me back in the same place I began. I haven't really explained myself..

In December 2017, my family and I decided that I would be moving out into a supported living flat. This meant that I was simply have my own flat and there would be other people in the building like usual, but it was for people with learning disabilities. So that meant that there was constant staff to look after you and help you live as independently as possible, a communal room for all the people living there to share a space and talk to each other etc. 

Everything was looking great, perfect even for me.  I went to a Christmas party with them all to introduce myself and enjoyed myself. My parents bought me all the furniture that I wanted to fill the flat with. I took alot of my collections so it felt like home. I thought everything was finally OK and I'd found my place..Damn I was WRONG

I moved in on 1st January 2018, what a new year! To put it simply it just didn't work for me. I won't slam the place and claim that it doesn't suit anyone as it does, just not me..again. I stayed there till April 2018. It was possibly the hardest 3 months of my life. I felt more isolated as I was around people but felt it tricky to interact on a daily basis. I was on facetime to my family constantly as I always needed guidance from them, while missing them terribly. To be honest it was a pure disaster from start to finish. It hurts me to say that as I know all the hard work & money everyone put in.

So after my Disneyland Paris trip in April, I came home. The next week while I had some inspiration in me, I applied for some work experience at my local 'The Entertainer'. I thought this would be perfect for me as I love toys & have great knowledge about them, I don't mind the music they play in the store & the lights don't usually bother me as I'm looking on the shelves. I got accepted and went in for my first day. I was on from 10am to 5pm..well I stayed till 12pm as by lunch my senses were done. Even though I knew about the products & don't mind the music or lights when I'm shopping there, it was a totally different thing working in the same place for 2 hours! Normally I'm in there no more than 20 minutes at a push or if I'm trying to decide what to buy..but 2 hours & more was just too much for my sensory processing. I went to have some lunch and just couldn't walk anymore as I was so done so I had to ring Mum to tell the store I wasn't going back & to pick me up. 
I was gutted & I still am.

I was reading some of my old posts where I talk about my future and what I wanted from going to university to being a graphic designer. It's quite funny to read now as I must have been either in a better place or just being over ambitious as there is NO WAY I could say I could do those things now. So now I just sit at home, no friends (but a few online) & hopeless. I don't know where my life is going to take me honestly and to be fair that quite scary for me. All I wanna do right now is go to the Disney Parks but Dad is sick of going to Paris & we can't afford any other park right now in the school holidays so I'm stuck unfortunately. I WISH I could go to Disneyland Paris on my own & have a blast..but it's not not possible right now..

Sorry this got so depressing, just thought I'd update you all & I needed somewhere to write.
On a positive note, I got the most wonderful email today from an amazing woman & her son called Kerry & Ryan, which made my day..you guys are AWESOME! 
Thank you so much, hope you don't mind me sharing! 
Oh and I recently got Disney Life and I'm loving all the old Disney channel throwback shows! 

Anyway I'll write soon.

P.S. Do you like my new banner..I love it!?

Just need space to write..

If you could see the struggle I have to start writing this you'd know how hard this is for me right now, to be honest I'm really struggling through life. Each day is the same with some abit duller or brighter than others. I haven't been blogging for some time now but I feel maybe now is the time to return to it, as it really served me well last time and helped me express myself. Now your not interested in a huge life update then skip this post and hopefully I'll post again soon if I feel like it again..sorry this is sounding so depressing and slow...

Anyway this year has been a big year for me as I've faced huge personal struggles from my autism & mental health to family & finding where I belong. This year started with me leaving the autistic special school I had been hardly attending since October 2016. It was for me, it just didn't suit me or my very complex needs. That was a big hit for me personally as so many professionals had told me that an autistic school was where I needed to be & it would sort things out..they were WRONG & writing this it's just hit me..it didn't work. I'm good academically but socially I am MORE than awkward. I don't even know how to start a conversation with someone my age.I just can't do it, it isn't at all natural. Now your probably reading this laughing to yourself but it's completely and utterly true..I as a 18 year old cannot have a conversation with a person. Damn..this is becoming harder to write! 

So since like January/February time I have been pretty isolated from people except my family. I cannot express enough how much my family means to me, they are my rock. I don't have any friends except my friends online like Mckenna, who lives in California..over the other side of the world as I live in the UK..so that's annoying with time zones but again I can't thank her enough if your reading this for being there for me when I need it most, you are a truly great best friend! 
Right my week goes like this..one day out with Nan and Grandad (who are the BEST!), going out food shopping with Mum, maybe doing some errands with Mum, push Mum into shopping for my impulsive buys & sleeping..mostly sleeping.

I'm going to go into my impulsive buys abit more but I know I will sound like a total spoilt bitch but I need to express this somewhere. I have this impulsive thinking, where I can wake up and think I need a PS4 today or that new toy at the Disney Store..or even I need to go to Disneyland Paris for a weekend to escape my life. Believe me whatever enters my head with not leave and stop nagging till something is done. I have been twice to Disneyland Paris on impulsive escape trips in the last 2 years. My parents had to buy me out of the blue £200 worth of My Little Pony trading cards from an American company called Enterplay as I felt I couldn't live without them. I do this because I'm sad & depressed with my life and these things give me that buzz & glimmer of happiness & hope.
 Yes it totally obscene and believe me if I could stop it I would, I sat in A&E for 13 hours with Mum because I couldn't stop wanting to go to Disneyland Paris..nothing great was done (as usual) but believe me if I could stop this impulse in me I would.

My autism has also got alot harder to handle over the past year, with my meltdowns becoming more stressful & frequent. I won't go into details on this as I think it's quite personal & private honestly, but yes these are autistic meltdowns and if you have autism or know some with autism, you might know what I talking about..

In better news..we did get a new puppy in September called Penny. She is a Blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and she is adorable! She is very naughty & cheeky but just perfect at the same time.

Right I think that's everything off my chest..so let's hope I can keep blogging and if you read this far CONGRATS! It was probably the most depressing boring blog ever but I needed to say these things. 
Thanks for reading :)


It's been a busy few weeks but I'm back and I'm ready to tell you all some pretty BIG news!
 Let's start with Youtube. Over the past weekend I started a brand new Youtube channel. I love all my obsessions and felt the need to share them with you other than on my social media and of course on here. After making a few videos I know I still prefer to type but I'm giving it a try and I'm excited. 
My channel will feature mostly Disney but also toy reviews & openings and my other favourites like My Little Pony & Barbie etc.
I'd be really grateful if you subscribed to me!

Time for my second piece of news, which only happened on Saturday..I booked to go back to Disneyland Paris! Yes I am going in August but I've been feeling really down lately and I needed this trip sooner as I need to escape and feel some magic. So..I'm going next Friday 12th May! Excited is an understatement! I'm so excited to see all the 25th anniversary stuff and take so many photos. I'm still deciding whether I should vlog or not, as I love taking photos more, but we will see! 

As I'm going to Disneyland Paris, I've decided to make some DLP Mystery Boxes. They will include all different merchandise from Disneyland Paris and it's only for a Limited time. They are £39.99 and available on my website now for order till Wednesday 10th! 

That's all my news for now but some pretty big news if I do say so myself! 
I'll be back soon with another post but as always keep checking my social media!

Belle Limited Edition Doll Review

Since watching the new Beauty and the Beast movie, I've been obsessed. So when I walked into my local Disney Store yesterday and found that they had the new Belle Limited Edition doll, I knew she had to be mine. My local store never gets Limited Edition dolls so I was so surprised. I'd seen her online and thought she looked pretty but had just bought some other Limited Edition dolls for my birthday so could't get her. When I saw her yesterday, she was honestly so much better in person! 

From her dress to her necklace to her ear piece, the detail is just outstanding. Her hair is beautiful, tied at the back with a lovely gold garland. One of my favourite things about the Limited Edition dolls are the eyelashes. I love the extension and grace about her. This is my first doll of an actual person as I normally find them kind of creepy but she just captures Belle so well that I don't even see her as Emma Watson.

Her detail and dress is actually what caught me the most. I love the dress so much from the beautiful pattern to the gentle gems placed in all the right places. I'm not much of fan of the smaller doll of this Belle as I just don't think the detail is there so if you are a fan of Belle or the movie and can splurge to £100 for this beautiful doll then you should, as I just think the detail & quality is better..and so it should be for £100! 

I can't really sing the praises of this doll anymore than I have, I love her so much and I think others will too. I'll leave you with some pictures of this wonderful doll.

Never Grow Up Mystery Boxes

Wow it's been a while! I recently moved and lost wifi for 3 weeks on my computer so I couldn't blog about this amazing adventure I'm going on! I've only gone and started a business! 
What kind of business you wonder...?
Mystery Boxes! 

I've seen people on instagram selling them for a while and thought I'm gunna give that a try. I love shopping and buying for other people so why not spread some magic while doing it?! I'm making all kinds of mystery boxes from Disney to Barbie to My Little Pony to Marvel! I'm even making custom boxes so if I'm not making something you want, I can try my best to make one for you. 

Each box is handpicked by me with loads of magic & thought. I try my best to find awesome new things to excite you when you open your surprise. Boxes start at £25.99 and I can ship worldwide!

You can like my facebook page here.
Like my Instagram here.
Make sure to visit my website here.

Hope you can join me on this journey! 

Beauty and the Beast Movie Review

Yesterday I got to finally see Beauty and the Beast in cinemas with my family and I was so breath taken that I had to actually sleep for hours after I seen it as it was such an overwhelming enjoyable experience! I knew I had to do a review and this is totally SPOILER FREE!

Like most Disney fans, this was a big deal when it was announced back in 2014 and I actually can't believe it's now out in cinemas. I remember being so excited and now I've seen it I'm more than satisfied with the end result. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite movies, easily in my Top 5 as I love everything about it from the plot to the characters to the music so my expectations were extremely high. 

Firstly I want to say that the casting was spot on. So many people had doubts over Emma Watson being Belle but she is a perfect Belle. She gives us the amazing personality of Belle from the kind & caring side to her feisty & brave side. She proves that Belle is one of the of the most head-strong women of the Disney franchise and reminded me why I love her. Beast was actually who I was most worried about as from the trailers he looked darker than the animated version but Dan Stevens did such a great job at making that balance of kind & dark Beast. He made me fall in love with Beast all over again throughout the movie just like in the original.

Gaston is one of my favourite Disney characters as he just makes me laugh so I was worried I wouldn't like him as much in this version but Luke Evans was perfect. He just embraced the whole character and made you love him but then doubt yourself at the end. And let's face it, he has the looks for Gaston easily! I was really interested when they cast Josh Gad as Lefou as to me that was casting at his best but I've only ever seen him in Frozen so I'd never seen him act, but he was amazing. He used the comic timing perfectly!

The enchanted objects were so hard to cast as they are so memorable and special but I loved them all from Ewan McGregor as Lumiere to Emma Thompson as Mrs Potts! Honestly, when I first saw pictures of Lumiere & Cogsworth I was worried as I didn't personally like them but they have grown on me and really fit the film well. You couldn't help but love them just like all the other characters. 
I also loved the casting of Maurice in the movie as in the original he annoys me alot and I don't really care for him but I felt emotion to Maurice in this version, which made the movie different for me.

I can't write this review without mentioning the amazing music and songs throughout. I love musicals and they had to keep the music in this one or it wouldn't have been the same for me. I loved all the old classics from Belle to Tale as Old as Time but my favourite had to be Gaston. It was perfect! Josh Gad & Luke Evans just had the perfect partnership and you could see their friendship just burst out. I also loved the new songs, but again my favourite had to be Evermore. Wow that song was just perfection! I've listened to it so many times already! 

The costumes and scenery were also just on point. It really took you into the movie and let you escape life for 2 hours! It was pure magic and I loved every minute. I can't wait to see it again..and again..and again..It was just perfect in my opinion. If you thinking about it, just go! I totally recommend it so much. 

Have you seen it yet? Are you planning to?
What did you think?

My Disneyland Paris Bucketlist

I'm getting so excited for my Disneyland Paris trip in August and I loved doing a Disneyland Paris post last time, so I've decided to continue with my Disneyland Paris theme and start writing a Bucketlist! 
I've been to Disneyland Paris 3 times now but there are still LOADS of things I loved to do so why not write them down to see if I can do them. There's quite a few so let's get going..

1. Be one of the last ones in the park
2. Eat at Auberge De Cendrillon with the princesses
3. Go to an Inventions Brunch on a Sunday afternoon
4. See the parade from the window on Walts on Main Street
5. Have a Glowtini
6. Watch the Forest of Enchantment 
 7. Meet every princess possible

8. Go and experience Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show for dinner
9. Eat at Annette's Diner in the Disney Village
10. Go up in the Panoramagique Balloon
11. Stay in all the on-site hotels
12. Meet Captain Hook
13. Eat at The Blue Lagoon
14. Visit in all seasons

That's my bucketlist for now, I bet there are LOADS of things I've missed!
Do you have a bucketlist or anything you really want to do at a Disney park?

I'm so REALLY excited for the new Beauty and the Beast movie! 
My family book last night to go and see it when it's out here and I can't wait!!
Are you excited or have you booked yet?